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Pity Party

12/18/2020

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I came to Pity Party by Curtis Waters through listening to his hit song "Stunnin'" with Harm Franklin. Such a solid song, I figured I'd check out the album. This is my first time listening through. It has that youthful sadness of a frat party at midnight. So much night ahead, yet you're feeling like going home. The lead singer has a voice like the lead singer of Blink-182. That being said, the songs don't resonate as much.

We had a massive snowfall yesterday in New York City. About 12 inches in the end. Today, the sun is doing its work against it and turning the ground into a slick sheet of ice. So it goes. The beauty of a first snow, especially before Christmas, heightened everyone's mood. All day yesterday, there was the scrapes of shovels and powdering of ice against frozen pavement echoing around the city. Tucked inside my apartment, I had the day off from dogwalking and took the time to edit the latest video for Ruff & Tug. Which will be released today!

This change from pure white bliss to mounds of grey slush is how life goes.

Watching it come down, playing in it, and enjoying the feeling of coziness amidst the frozen world that's what makes the first snow so wonderful. It's the pure creation untouched by the slush of others trodding over it.

Now, though, now is the grey slush, that feeling of scrambling to step forward without falling. Today, I reckon with what I created yesterday. The things I didn't see. The things that didn't land. The things that people don't care for. All of it before the world, ready to be turned into slush. In the process, I hope not to turn into ice too.

It's hard seeing my work going out into the world. Always initially because of the thought, do people really want to see this?  The answer is it doesn't matter because I want to see it. That's the most important thing. The things I'm sharing are the things that I want to create. It's the whole Build It and They Will Come strategy. So far, I'm waiting for those people to come see. I spend so much time creating these things, but my worse fear is no one will see them. 

It's true. I've been working hard on these things for months. Many days spent straining my neck in the editing room for about 100 views. I appreciate every one of them, but I want more reach.

That said, it's this pity party that I remember that I make these things because I love to. It's not if you'll watch them, read them, or give me money for them. It's me sharing what I have so that you may see a different perspective. Knowing that, as long as I live, I can rise with ten-thousand suns and create something new for me to love.

What's something that you love to do every day?

- Eric Maus
Beware, for I am fearless, and therefore powerful. - Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley - Frankenstein

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