In Search of the Lost Chord

In 1968, the Moody Blues released In Search of the Lost Chord. In 2017, Eric found the vinyl in a record shop on the lower East Side. In fact, it wasn't even he that found it. A girl he was trying to impress handed to him. That night, Eric found the lost chord...The album plays like a hippie rock opera. If I was doing LSD, I'm sure this album would give me a lot to think about. Alas, a good glass of whiskey will have to do. Close your eyes and listen to the colorful music take you on a journey through life and death. You'll learn of Timothy O'Leary. You'll feel the sunshine on your skin and ride the astroplane. In the end, if you listen real close, you'll find the chord you're looking for. 

Today marks my return from vacation. With the holidays abounding, it was high time to head to Wisconsin for an early Christmas celebration. I loved returning home this year. Normally, I work for a couple weeks with my parents at their jewelry store. Except this year, they retired! Good timing too given the whole pandemic situation. With that, J and I only visited for five days. It was plenty. Good food, filled to the brim beer glasses, and so much cheese. Wisconsin does it right. That's why so many people are fat there. It's heaven for jolly gluttons. 

Memories of passed lives lived, haunt the halls of my home. With J, a conscientious observer stepping into my family history. She listened to the stories of old dogs, hiccups, high school, and the friends who've passed through our places. In giving her the history, I joined her understanding. From an older perspective, those things that most felt impossible like moving to a different state, asking a crush out, or acting in front of people-- these things that younger, shy Eric was too scared to try. With these experiences now conquered by older Eric. It brings joy and a little regret. Like why did it take so long to see? 

Growing up. That's how it goes. For some people, they navigate it quickly because of natural audaciousness or by being prodded into it by parents or situation. For the shy, like I was, in a small town, it was difficult to be prodded. In a city like New York, I imagine I'd grow up quicker because there is always so much going on. Even now though, I still find myself hiding at times, which in the future, I'll look back and think why? Why did it take so long? It's finding those times when I feel like I'm hiding, I try to identify. Those pain points are where I need to grow the most. I'm getting better at it. Meditation helps. Whether intentionally sitting or typing in these words, an outside perspective looking inward helps find the problem. Even then, I, like you, will never be perfect. There will always be moments where I wish I could've done better.

Back in NYC, I'm happy to be at my desk. Those memories I think of, make up my history, those younger Erics simply stages in my life. It's a slow process growing up and finding one's way through. From everything I remembered in my days in Wisconsin, I know deep in my soul that sharing my writing and my stories is my chord. If I could say my chord in one word: Connection.

What's the chord you're searching for? Does it have a word?

- Eric Maus

Two notes of the chord, that's our full scope
But to reach the chord is our life's hope
And to name the chord is important to some
So they give it a word, and the word is OM."
- The Moody Blues from 'The Word'

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